Margaret and I are cruising along in our rental car. On our journey between the beaches of Normandy and our bed and breakfast in the country, we pull off to a rest stop where I can run to the bathroom.
I happily jump out of the car and jaunt over to the men's room. It's a really loose term of the word "room", I see, since it's clearly designed missing an entrance, or even a retaining wall for that matter. It's more of a men's "lean-to", built of concrete and tile, leaving you exposed for the enjoyment of all passersby in the rest stop.
Huh, the only space left is a blank wall with three separated pipes with buttons on them. I glance towards the floor and notice a tiled trough. These are the urinals. "Great", I say to myself, "I'll just whip it out here, and piss on the floor... Into the trough."
As I'm doing my business and giggling to myself that I'm basically just urinating on the wall and floor with my backside open to the public due to lack of any cover, I hear the jolly sound of clacking sandals at my back. "Must be Margaret!"
I soon finished up and zipped myself away, then stared hard at the button directly on the wall ahead of me. Finally, I punched it with the palm of my hand.
All of a sudden, the pipe exploded rusty water in a 360 degree direction, all over me and this extravagant priest! The full on water assault covered our front side from shoulder to knees. I realized in an instant that from the shock of the reaction, I still had my palm on the button as the liquid continued to spray everywhere. I ripped away my hand, down to my side, and the chaos stopped.
Defeated, I fell back to the tub/sink to wash the gross droplets off my hands. The sink was broken, no water, no towel, no air dryer thingy. I kicked the tub for good measure. "Figures!", I stammered, half to myself but mostly for the priest I just accosted. Then I shuffled away briskly without looking over my shoulder...
A.- if urinating in a trough in full public view makes you giddy, you probably should not be doing it in the first place.
B.- Dr. Strangelove was right- pushing a button without knowing the end result does have devastating consequences, not only for you but for the people around you.
C.- if you internally make priest jokes at a urinal while standing next to a priest, God will punish you both just so you may witness the priest retain his dignity, while you practice humility.
and D.- NEVER use a rest stop in France.